What is therapy (2/3)…
Therapy can be a confusing experience.
Here are some common questions to help you understand what to expect:
*How much should I/my therapist be talking?
There is no ‘right way’ for you to talk in therapy. Everyone processes information differently, has varying levels of comfort/stress when speaking with others, and communicates differently. If you need time to think or struggle to find words, your therapist should go at your pace and explore options to communicate so that you can think together.
It is okay for you to ask questions about anything you’re unsure of. Therapy can be stressful for some, even if you want to access support. This is made worse if: you’re not sure what to expect, why certain information is being asked of you, and don’t know whether you’re making progress.
Silence can be a helpful way to get in touch with thoughts and feelings during a conversation, being an opportunity for insight into your subjective experiences.
However, silence can be uncomfortable or even unhelpful to many. If you feel there is too much silence for any reason, this can be explored to understand what’s going on for you and if any adjustments need to be made.
*Why can’t I know about my therapist, if they know so much about me?
There are often some parts of your therapists’ identity and lived experience they may not choose to share. This is because the focus is on you and what you need, more than anything else.
If I start adding my ‘stuff’ into the mix, we risk overlooking and minimising the
important things about you and your subjective experiences. If I take up more space than you in our work then we de-centre you from the process, making you and what you need overlooked.
Similarities between us might be helpful in being understood. However, if we assume that I know all there is to know because of perceived/actual similarities between us (such as gender, culture, and lived experiences), the important things about you may go unspoken.