There are a lot of myths about trauma from sexual abuse, much of them victim-blaming. One example is the myth that you should be able to understand and deal with what happened, and quickly.
For some people this is true, but for others the impact of trauma can push to the front of your daily life at unexpected times, in unexpected ways.
How does trauma affect people?
The impact of trauma is very powerful as it forces our lives and sense of self to be re-configured. When the past enters the present via re-living traumatic experiences, your life might not feel like it belongs to you anymore. Feeling out of control might also become your new normal.
However trauma re-surfaces, it isn’t a personal failure. It doesn’t mean you aren’t handling it well enough, you’re not strong enough, or that you’re letting other people down by not being okay.
Lots of people worry about suddenly being affected by something traumatic that happened a long time ago, especially when they have been coping with it well for a long time.
For some people certain life stages can bring past events to the foreground. This might be:
- The anniversary of the traumatic event
- A perpetrator of violence dying
- One’s child reaching the age that they were at the time abuse happened
How far does the impact of trauma reach?
Trauma is not only interwoven into the lives of those who survive it but within families, communities, institutions, and societal systems. It is normal to feel affected by a world that comes with the risk of being hurt, especially if your traumatic experiences included being hurt by other people.
When trauma re-surfaces it’s helpful to think of it in the context of your own chronology to understand why now, as well as what you want to do about it right now. The “why” might not be clear, but the truth is that you have survived and lived with trauma so far, so you’re not starting from scratch in continuing to cope.
If you need help to manage the impact of sexual abuse and trauma, contact me at enquire@therapy-leeds.co.uk.
